Although I did not clearly remember this growing up, through therapy I was able to articulate that they were fighting about money and how expensive my athletic team and competitions were. I heard that I was the cause of their financial problems. This was devastating for a young girl and debilitated me in terms of buying anything for myself. As a teen, going to the mall was a trauma, trying to find a better price on something I needed, wanting something I wouldn’t buy. My parents would give me their credit card and send me clothes shopping and I’d come home empty-handed and upset. Sometimes they took me shopping but I’d only get angry and act out.
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